sippin sizzurp in my ride

ah i’m rlly glad u liked it!! i do have some other yj ideas, but alas i’m going to be in a writing workshop this fall that will probably want me to write “original pieces” instead of “lesbian fanfiction for the cannibalism show” so idk how much time i’ll have to devote to fic writing. i’m rlly flattered that you’d like to read more of my work tho :) hope you’re having a good day!

anon i am kissing you on the mouth (if i have your consent of course) for asking my favorite question in the whole wide world. thank u for ur service, and for enabling me.

SO

i guess what i really just wanted to get across in this chap were the complications and nuances of both characters? it’s a bit more obvious with Nat as she is the POV character, and with her what I really wanted to capture was a sort of tentative blossoming, a true desire to make the right plays here, in spite of the terminal self loathing that’s been instilled in her since her childhood. she’s spent so much time with Lottie at this point, she really does trust and care about her, she’s really trying to make this work, trying to let herself be happy, and then her past comes knocking again and sends her into a self destructive tailspin. i plan in the next chapter to be a bit more explicit about what exactly drove nat to her outburst—she didn’t just take what her mom said at face value, bc vera is full of shit and she knows that, but it made her Think about things—but i hope it didn’t seem like it came out of nowhere? i hope it made sense to y’all?

and then with lottie, i was mainly just thinking about how lonely this girl has been her entire life. i don’t see her as a necessarily anxious or self loathing person; she’s got insecurities, but she also just desperately wants to be close to people and doesn’t have a problem wearing her heart on her sleeve with those people that she is close to. and i think she can be self sacrificing to a fault (for example, in canon, when she lets shauna beat the shit out of her for the good of the group) and i channeled that for the last scene, where she’s still hoping that nat will stay even tho nat purposefully said the worst thing she could possibly think of trying to make lottie hate her. like lottie is just so afraid of being alone again, which is rlly sad right!!! idk why i did that to her!!!

ALSO on another note, i think a really vital part of this story is nat’s relationships with all the other girls and i like highlighting those as well. i had a lot of fun with her convo with tai in this chap.

ne way, i think that’s enough of that. thank you so much for reading, i’m really glad you enjoyed it, and thank u for letting me close read my own work for you, it’s truly a passion of mine.